Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Titleless

I really don't know what to call todays blog. I have a relatively slow house today, meaning 2 of my daycare kids aren't here so there are only 4 kids running around (7 when school gets out). We are off to play group this morning. The ladies there will be thrilled when they see one of the kids because they missed him. He came for a few weeks and then disappeared until now. They thought I was nuts last week bringing 3 kids, one walked, on on my back and one in the stroller. Makes me wonder what they will think today, when there is an extra one.

My big boys go to a club in the afternoons on Wednesday but one of the main leaders is busy today so there is no club. Hopefully it warms up that all the big kids can go outside for a few minutes when they arrive home. That's always a hit with mr attitude who doesn't want to do anything I ask him too, and if he does it's constant bitching. I love that kid though. Tonight he goes to the library to read aloud with a buddy.

Tomorrow the other half is off work. He has company coming over in the morning, because you know there isn't enough people in my house already, no kids though just an adult. He wants to go away for a weekend with him at the beginning of March but I don't think he's going to have enough trust to do that yet. Also hubby has his first councilling appt tomorrow. I suggested we go together but he doesn't want me there because he may say something I don't like and I might call him a liar. I told him don't lie and he wouldn't have to worry about that. This brings me to wonder how effective this is going to be. He tried antidepressents before and they didn't work. I talked to him and said he has to be totally honest with the counsilling because if he isn't it won't work. He got all pissy at me about that. I did tell him I really want it to work and i'm willing to work on it as much as he is, but i'm not doing it all, I can't.

Sunday, January 28, 2007

Been a Few

For those who have known my family we have had a lot of rocky times in the past. Now I don't know if i'm going through a rocky time or not. On one hand I say I am and on the other I say i'm better off than ever before. Let me explain, come on now, if you know me you knew I would.

Making me down is that my husband decided that getting off on porn was what he wanted to do. No he just didn't want to watch it but actually went to the sites for pleasure and relief and to make himself happy. Then to top things off he had to lie about it. I was in our bedroom upstairs, alone, while this was going on. It took him a couple weeks before actually admitting it was him, and that was only because I told him that I was going to tell the babysitters parents that they went to the site because my husband swears up one side of me and down the other it wasn't them. I feel extremely betrayed by this and right now I can't trust him at all. Right now he isn't allowed on the computer and I have changed the password to get on. This is one of my lowest parts to know my partner has cheated. I'm curious if he has in real life now too. I asked him if I was good enough for him and the bastard said no. Then, like any dog would, he tried to take it back but it was too late, the damage had been done.

My biggest highlight is I'm feeling very successful with my daycare. I love having the kids come over every day. Hell I get paid to play for a living, can't beat that. I know I have to stop and feed the kids and make sure they are clean and all but it's so much fun. I'm really loving it and am thrilled that I can stay home with my kids while helping other people who choose not to. To me I have the best of both worlds.

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Is it too much to Ask?

OMG, is it really too much to ask my hellions to not fight one morning? Keona's almost always the first one to fly out of bed so she wakes up Alex, who starts the day by freaking out on her. I told him that if he didn't want her going into his room, when the alarm went off he better get his butt out of bed and start getting ready because I was done with his pissiness. Then comes the dreaded breakfast time, it's all fighting the whole time. He did this, she did that. All freaken time. Today Alex is mad because he took all the "good" cereal but his bowl was overflowing. He did this so the other kids couldn't have any, saying they pigged out yesturday on the cereal, which was very interesting because yesturday they all had toast due to the lack of milk in the house. So I took his bowl and anything over the top went into Zachary's. If looks could kill that boy would have me so dead. Time to make lunches now and that starts a whole new war over who gets what snack. Because they can't take the same thing, that would be copying, and of course no one else can take something better than the other one. Getting ready to get out the door is the same thing. All morning.

Peace comes when that bus pulls away, because you can bet they fight all the way onto the bus also about who gets on first. I look forward to my house being overrun with babies, it's so much more peaceful, even when they are all crying!!!!!!

Just one morning I would like them not to bicker when they get ready. If not they will get ready seperately and will have to start getting up when their dad goes to work and getting ready, then they will each have 30 mintues.

Monday, January 22, 2007

Due credit

To all those parents with multiples here's a ton of credit. I had all three kids under 1 today at the house in the afternoon and it was fun. Alot of work seeing i'm use to one little person. Everything took longer, which means I have less to "plan" during the day. Lunch took a bit to get through, remembering who's spoon was who's and not mixing them up. All the kids had different food to boot. As soon as Timothy is finishes off his baby food that will change though and i'll supply lunch for everyone. Then it was diaper change time, one after the other they all got a clean diaper. The best time was next when I, single handedly, got all 3 kids to nap at the same time. First the little girl fell asleep in my arms, Timothy crashed on the couch. The other little boy didn't really want to go to sleep but sure enough his eyes got heavier and heavier. When they all woke up it was a story and then snack and yet another round of diaper changes. All the big kids got off the bus (my two boys plus an extra boy I babysit) The kids played together really well and not long after the first little boy was picked up. Keona was a huge help today and loved having another girl to hang around with for once. More playing and cuddles and then the little girl was picked up and my after school boy.

Here I sit, after feeding my kids supper and getting Alex out the door to Cadets. I'm in one peice and amazed how well I did today with all the kids. I can do it!!!!!!!!

Saturday, January 20, 2007

Why is it so cold?

Dear Mother Nature,

It would be greatly appreciated if you would turn the heat back on in our part of the country. Not even much, just enough so we can do the papers and not be frozen. Do you really understand that I had to get a sleepy baby into his two peice snowsuit and then, once he was fully traumatized I put him in his cold stroller and then wrapped him in a blanket. Then the princess, who didn't want to get dressed to start with, had to pile on all her outerwear. Mind you that would have been tempting to take her out without it if she fought too much longer. She doesn't like wearing all her clothes because she is stubborn. Next came Zachary, to have it warm enough that his feet won't freeze when I get tired of him bugging about socks. Like a little layer of cloth will do too much in this weather. He did find his socks when I told him we were leaving. Finally, there's the kid who thinks he's too cool to bundle up. Boy he would have been too cool this morning if he didn't listen to his mom. He still dawdled to do the papers when the rest of us were trying to go faster. If the wind was just a bit quicker it would have been registered with a windchill this morning. -26C isn't nice at all after spoiling us with temps that hovered around the freezing mark for so long. We all know we live in Canada and it's suppose to be cold but teasing us first, that was just not right. The mornings should never be this cold, it would save alot of battles, especially school mornings.

Therefore, I suggest you get some of the warmth back here. My legs are also frozen from this morning and the kids are going to want to drink all the hot chocolate. Kids and hot chocolate mean hyperness, and when it's this cold that is just a mean mix. GIVE ME BACK SOME WARMTH!!!!!!!!

Freezing in Canada

Friday, January 19, 2007

Didn't last

Peaceful sleep disturbed by the cry of an infant. Every night it's the same thing over and over. The upside, hubby is the one to get out of bed to get him. And at wee hours of the morning he was the one to get puked on too. Yes, my little buddy isn't feeling well. Not sure what has come over him but he thinks puking is fun today. He did a couple times last night and then again this morning. I haven't eaten anything different and i've used all the lotions before that I did last night so it can't be that. The evil little bug must have gotten to him. Poor guy, he eats and eats and eats and then a little while later feels compelled to show me just what he ate, thank goodness breast milk isn't smelly.

Today is Friday though and nothing can ruin a Friday. The big boys go to school, they have skating today even so they will come home in a really good mood also, and hopefully a little tired after walking to and from the rink and skating for over an hour. Timothy will be cuddly today because he isn't feeling well. Then there is the princess in disguise, i'm hoping she will behave. I highly doubt it so she may be seeing alot of her bed today. Then tonight is movie night and we are having popcorn with it. Not sure what we will watch, that's usually a battle in itself because with 3 kids and a husband they all want something different. Timothy could care less and mommy always has final say so it's all good.

First battle to go is to get the boys out the door with as little fighting as possible.

Thursday, January 18, 2007

I slept

Yes, I did and it felt great. I still woke up when Timothy did during the night but I fell back asleep as soon as I realized that the old man was taking care of him. Then I even got to sleep in some this morning. Not much because heaven knows my kids aren't quiet, but I didn't have to get out of bed as early and it definately felt good.

Today should be a good day, a bunch of kids coming over, eating lunch and going to play group. It will be even better if my husband can tell the truth for once when he goes for an assessment to get into anger management classes or whatever else he may need. Honesty isn't a strong point for him and it's funny because he is a shitty liar just like his mother. He gets so mad and frustrated when the lie is called on him, it's too funny and annoying at the same time. OH well though, maybe one day he will learn that his lying doesn't get him anywhere with me and his kids will learn his game too and I hate to see those relationships crumble anymore but they just won't be their with him. This is his last chance though with us, if things don't improve things will change. Like the saying is, you don't realize what you have until it's all gone.

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Welcome to Crazytown

Yes, I live in Crazytown. I'm the proud momma to 4 great kids and now my daycare is full. I have my own almost 8 month old at home, plus then another 8 month old little girl who I will start babysitting on Monday. If that's not enough for you though I have one of the cutest little boys who is almost 1 that I also watch. Oh yeah and then there are the 16 month old twins that I'm watching for 2 weeks at the end of this month, beginning of next. Yup, I think Crazytown explains where I live. Lots of organization and hopefully a strong routine will fall into place for us.

Keona is thrilled with this because she is finally getting a girl to play with. Out of all my daycare kids and my own kids she was the only girl. I'm really happy that she won't be the only one now. My house is so much fun, it's literally a fun house, without the scary mirrors. I have the best job in the world, I get to play all day and I get paid for it. I know it's alot of work still but as long as I have stuff ready to go (like food, kids want to eat for some reason) then it shall be successful. I get to stay home with my own children and watch other peoples children when they need to work. I love it!!!!!!!

So, anyone up for a visit?

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

The gang at Christmas


I'm suppose to be paying attention mom. How did you know I wouldn't? And how the heck did you get the camera ready for when I wouldn't? OH yeah, i'm your boy and you know me.



It's an important job decorating the tree. Serious business, can you tell by my face. All the ornaments have to get on just right. But once they are on I can laugh and play again.


I'm cute and innocent and I dare you to say any different. Don't let this face fool you because she is a little dingbat in disguise. She will get into everything and anything and it's never a good thing when the house is quiet and she is home.




I see that paper and gosh darn it mommy i'm going to get it. Yes the wrapping paper was Timothy's favourite part about Christmas. Every time I turned around he had wrapping paper in his mouth. Between that and boobies he thinks he's set.


So there you have it. A glimps of what went on this Christmas season. Just a glimpse, but updated pictures of all the kiddos. What a cute little family we have, well ok it's not little but it's still a bunch of cute kids. Just 4 kids that is, not like today when I had 3 extra kids under 16 months. That was fun. At least they all got along fairly well and there was no hair pulling. Nope, the hair pulling was last week and then I got 2 looks, one of "why is that other boy crying mommy" and the other "what is he doing to me, it hurts". Timothy is lacking in the hair department compared to all the other kids he knows, so he feels the need to take other peoples, especially his mommies. He gives the cutest little face and then the hand starts to move. It holds onto my boob, then reaches a little farther and a little farther. I think to myself, the baby just wants a kiss on the hand. What a sweet little boy. Then no sooner do I kiss his hand, he has a whole handful of hair!!!!!! What a little rascal he can be. Big sister said it was ok to pull her hair, of course he was only pulling a couple at a time and then not really pulling, just running his hand along it. Then came the handfuls of her hair also, she dosen't think it's too funny. So Keona and I sit and wait for him to get lots of hair so that he will hopefully leave ours alone. Until then does anyone have some spare hair they can lend us, we will soon be bald.

Monday, January 15, 2007

Rude people

I hate rude people so much. Especially when people call and they think threatening you will make money appear in your bank account. I told them the more they call doesn't magically make money appear. Also that the money tree they seem to think I have didn't do to well over the summer when it was so hot. I'm tired of answering my phone and think maybe i'll get caller id so when they call I can ignore it. Or maybe i'll cancel my home phone and they will actually have to write to talk to me. Imagine that, people writing to others to do business. And they hate that I don't give them a set amount, I could do that but then heaven forbid there isn't that much in the bank when it comes time to pay and if there's more i've had one get mad at me because I paid more than I said. WTF, you would think they would be happy with a larger payment, but no, I didn't keep the promise and gave them more than agreed on. Now I just give people a date and say they can get some on that day, which isn't good for most of them but oh well. I think everyone can have $5 a month, that way i'm making an effort to pay them and they can't keep calling me or do anything else. I also hate when they try to force you into a certain amount, you tell them you can't make that amount and they go and get all pissy on you. Then they call back the day after they said you had to pay and bitch because you didn't do that. Well I never made a deal to begin with and I can't help what they put on their screens. I don't make promises for amounts, so when they say I did I can catch them on the lie every time. They don't like that either. Stupid people who try to play consumers.

Sunday, January 14, 2007

Where did it come from

Where on earth did all the stuff in my house come from? There is just so much of it, it's out of control. This year hopefully we can deal with all the stuff and work our way through the piles and rooms of it. I would love to have the office looking good but that seems to be the "where can this go" spot. Everything ends up in the office. Huge yard sale happening this summer. I have a little path from the door to the computer that I can navigate through. Lots of the yardsale stuff is sitting in here waiting for the warm weather. Time to make it's way to a corner in the porch. I have to add my baby's snowsuit to the pile, it's just getting too small on him and it's so sad. I did get a really cute one though from superstore yesturday for dirt cheap. It even came with a matching hat. Imagine my life when I think a matching hat with a snowsuit is one of my highlights from the day.

Oh well, i'm a sahm and proud of it. I make this family work, well at least I try to make us work. With kids who are going through major attitude spells (still hoping it's just a stage) and a over spender for a husband it's been a challagne. Some times are tighter than others but as long as the power is on, the kids have clothes and we are all fed I think i'm doing just fine. Not to say I wouldn't love to actually have money in the bank more than an hour after getting up on payday, or I would love a ton of the bills to disappear. Wouldn't we all love to have less bills and debt though. I'm going to spend even less this year and for how many years it takes to climb out of our hole and we will be successful financially also. I know I can do it and this is the year to make a big dent in the debt. It's not a new years resolution, it's a family resolution that by the end of the year our debt will be less, hopefully substantially less. If I can only get rid of 2 credit cards that will be a huge feat for us. I know we can do it and we will do it. And now I have all my friends to keep me accountable.

Saturday, January 13, 2007

Another day older

OMG, i'm another day closer to turning 30. So I still have months to go before that actually happens but still, it's an extra day closer. This morning getting up wasn't the same as it has been in a long time. I was so looking forward to sleeping in, because that's what my husband said I could do. So like a good wife, I dealt with Timothy all night when he didn't want to sleep. Then it happened, riiiiiiing, riiiiiiing riiiiiiiing. Of all mornings my husband actually jumped out of bed to answer the phone. He works in a nursing home, can you guess what they wanted? Yup, on a day it's -28C outside they wante him to go to work. So, after last nights dumb ass move, he thought it would be best to go and make some extra money. He was nice and did the papers before he went so I wouldn't have to drag all the kids out of their warm beds and into the freezing cold. Mind you by this time 3 of them were already out of their warm beds and my thought of sleeping in was long gone. Tomorrow we have to get up early for Church and then he doesn't have another day off until Thursday. So much for sleeping in, although if it's this cold tomorrow morning I may stay home with Timothy instead of bringing him out in the cold. Then the two of us can sleep, because in his eyes, morning when everyone is up and the kids have gone to school is the perfect time to nap. But if i'm about to fall asleep with him, it's only a short nap day because mom isn't allowed to sleep. Tomorrow however, mom will sleep if it's too cold and a boob will keep him happy and content.

Friday, January 12, 2007

Pissed off Rant

I wrote out a long post ranting about my husband and his mother but to actually publish it to the web would put me as low as they are and that wouldn't be right.

My hopes and dreams are that my husband can grow up and realize he is a married man and kissing his mothers ass won't get him what he wants. Also that my mil realizes that I don't listen to a word she has to say usually and that these are my children and I don't want them to be raised like hers were and she has no right telling me how to do so.

Thursday, January 11, 2007

Peaceful Quiet

With a house usually full of kids there really is such a thing. Keona has gone to school today with the boys and Timothy is eating his Polar Bear. This is a nice peaceful quiet in my house. In a year I won't be saying that anymore because Timothy will be more mobile and if it's quiet, like with his siblings, it won't be a peaceful thing unless he is asleep, and even then it will be more eerie because kids can wake up and not make a noise just to get into something.

This morning came too early when the other half got up for work and all I could here was "mommy let me out of my room" I ignored her so the "open my dooooooooor" started. I still ignored her and like I hoped she fell back to sleep for another hour. She was a much happier girl then. Wonders what 12 1/2 hours of sleep can do for a little girl. I wish I new what it could do for me. My son looks at me like i'm a cow and thinks he needs to eat multiple time a night. Last night wasn't as bad as it has been, he took a couple 3 hour blocks, until 4 this morning and then it was a rest of the night thing. He eats constantly and then still gets up and has a good breakfast, I don't know where this kid puts it and he's only a baby, what happens in those dreaded teenage years when he doesn't stop eating? He's now eating a giraffe as he plays, as happy as can be. He is much more relaxed when big sister isn't around, maybe because he knows he won't be used as a dolly and carried around if I turn my back. He can actually play with his toys and not have big brother in his face to bug him. His biggest brother won't decide he wants to play with him, pick him up, sit on the couch, get him all worked up and then decide he wants nothing to do with him. He can play, have fun and babble away at mommy all day. Little does he know he has a friend coming over later today that mommy is going to start babysitting, someone his size and just a 3 months older. The peaceful quiet will be gone but the baby giggles won't be. Something has him very excited so i'm off to load up on coffee (I know, it's the thing likely keeping him up all night) and off to play.

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

The Winter that Hasn't been

Last time I checked I was still in Canada. I'm thanking the army now for all the tents they have graciously donated for the citizens of Canada to live in. See, it's been so mild here this winter that our igloos just couldn't withstand the conditions and have all melted. We would have no where to live if it wasn't for the tents. If only they would have withheld the warmth until yesturday when the temps dropped and it's freezing, like it should be in winter. I went out today and came home an ice cube. Thank goodness I didnt' have to take out the little people, just Alex. He had a dentist appt and when I got there after braving the cold, they said they had to rebook. If I knew they were going to do that I would have gotten a transfer when I got on the bus so I wouldn't have to pay twice.

It's suppose to snow tonight, not holding my breathe as it was suppose to snow the entire last week of last year and that never came either. It seems when it says snow, it actually rains or does nothing. On with our lack of Winter in the country known for winters.

Tuesday, January 9, 2007

The end of an Era

Today is the last day I will ever go to Healthy Moms Healthy Children as a participant of the course. It's rather sad thinking of that. A year ago I had just found out that I was having another boy and now he is 7 1/2 months old already. I remember having so many mixed feelings when I got pg and it took a bit for us to truly get excited about another baby in the house. It had been three years and Keona was so independant in so many areas. We had a break with no one in diapers, we weren't carrying a diaper bag, we didn't have to get up during the night, my boobs were mine damn it. Now we have all these things all over again. Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't trade it for the world. Timothy is a wonderful little man, scared the crap out of mommy many many times before his arrival and even when he came out purple I was scared. Then there was the most beautiful noise a mom could hear, he cried for the first time and it was then I knew he was alright, he had survived when I told my care provider that I needed to be induced because something wasn't right anymore. I went to an OB at the very end and he was going to induce the next morning but he did a stretch and sweep that afternoon. I delivered that evening, and with great delight when I look back and know that Timothy woulnd't have survived until morning, not with the 2 knots in his umbilical cord.

I've been going to HMHB since the I found out I was pregnant, it was my princesses third birthday. I remember buying the test and not wanting to wait so went into the store bathroom and taking it, there it was one pink line and then the other started to appear. Now was the task of telling my parents, and his. We weren't in the best spot to be bringing a new life into this world and we knew that things wouldn't go over well with them. My mom was happy, so was my dad. Then there were his parents, his dad was more worried for us, he is a great guy and worries alot about his kids and their well being. But my mil, well that was a different story. It was the same thing with every pregnancy, she stopped talking to us all together and disowned us yet again, the only difference this time, she had surgery just after and I still went to see her in the hospital and then she started talking again. She went to the u/s, not sure if it was because she was trying to play up how good of a woman she tries to be or if she really wanted to be there because she found out my mother was going. It's amazing how she always manages to crawl back into our lives to make herself look like such a great grandmother. She does that though and stops talking to us whenever we do something she doesn't like. YOu know, having a baby, getting married, setting rules for our house and saying they need to abide by them as well. I figure she can only play her games so long because what comes around goes around. The kids will learn her game and one day not care anymore and won't let her back. That's a whole nother blog entry though.

Monday, January 8, 2007

And so it Begins

Hiding while Keona consumes her yogurt and Timothy sits playing. If I wasn't good at animal sounds and the alphabet I am now with Timothy's new Christmas toy, the little people alphabet mat. School has gone back and I can breathe again, although it seems too quiet around here. Only two kids home today. Tomorrow Keona will be back to school also, now that will be a peaceful quiet.

Alex and Zachary are both at school. Zachary loves the fact he could go back and see all his friends and show off his battle scars from the break. He was sledding and face planted the ground and now has a scraped up chin. He had a blast doing it though. Alex wasn't happy, he is my dads favourite and was spoiled by going trucking twice over Christmas with him. Now he won't get to do that again until at least March, and that's only a maybe. He forgets that my dad does come and visit periodically throughout the year, not just on school holidays.

I'm holding out and going uphill now our routine is back in place. Not being in school puts everyone and everything out of place. I would it rather be like one of my friends and the kids only be out a week, why oh why couldn't they go back last week?

The good news is I have a new daycare boy starting tomorrow. He's a cutie and is starting off very slowly to get use to coming before mom has to go back to work next month. A friend for Timothy. I do feel bad with the daycare and Keona, poor kid is the only girl with a house full of boys. In the summer I can have 8-10 kids running around and yet just one girl.

I hear an unpleasant sound coming from Timothy so I should go and make sure it's just sounds and not a present left behind as he sits giggling at me.