Titleless

I really don't know what to call todays blog. I have a relatively slow house today, meaning 2 of my daycare kids aren't here so there are only 4 kids running around (7 when school gets out). We are off to play group this morning. The ladies there will be thrilled when they see one of the kids because they missed him. He came for a few weeks and then disappeared until now. They thought I was nuts last week bringing 3 kids, one walked, on on my back and one in the stroller. Makes me wonder what they will think today, when there is an extra one.

My big boys go to a club in the afternoons on Wednesday but one of the main leaders is busy today so there is no club. Hopefully it warms up that all the big kids can go outside for a few minutes when they arrive home. That's always a hit with mr attitude who doesn't want to do anything I ask him too, and if he does it's constant bitching. I love that kid though. Tonight he goes to the library to read aloud with a buddy.

Tomorrow the other half is off work. He has company coming over in the morning, because you know there isn't enough people in my house already, no kids though just an adult. He wants to go away for a weekend with him at the beginning of March but I don't think he's going to have enough trust to do that yet. Also hubby has his first councilling appt tomorrow. I suggested we go together but he doesn't want me there because he may say something I don't like and I might call him a liar. I told him don't lie and he wouldn't have to worry about that. This brings me to wonder how effective this is going to be. He tried antidepressents before and they didn't work. I talked to him and said he has to be totally honest with the counsilling because if he isn't it won't work. He got all pissy at me about that. I did tell him I really want it to work and i'm willing to work on it as much as he is, but i'm not doing it all, I can't.

Been a Few

For those who have known my family we have had a lot of rocky times in the past. Now I don't know if i'm going through a rocky time or not. On one hand I say I am and on the other I say i'm better off than ever before. Let me explain, come on now, if you know me you knew I would.

Making me down is that my husband decided that getting off on porn was what he wanted to do. No he just didn't want to watch it but actually went to the sites for pleasure and relief and to make himself happy. Then to top things off he had to lie about it. I was in our bedroom upstairs, alone, while this was going on. It took him a couple weeks before actually admitting it was him, and that was only because I told him that I was going to tell the babysitters parents that they went to the site because my husband swears up one side of me and down the other it wasn't them. I feel extremely betrayed by this and right now I can't trust him at all. Right now he isn't allowed on the computer and I have changed the password to get on. This is one of my lowest parts to know my partner has cheated. I'm curious if he has in real life now too. I asked him if I was good enough for him and the bastard said no. Then, like any dog would, he tried to take it back but it was too late, the damage had been done.

My biggest highlight is I'm feeling very successful with my daycare. I love having the kids come over every day. Hell I get paid to play for a living, can't beat that. I know I have to stop and feed the kids and make sure they are clean and all but it's so much fun. I'm really loving it and am thrilled that I can stay home with my kids while helping other people who choose not to. To me I have the best of both worlds.

Is it too much to Ask?

OMG, is it really too much to ask my hellions to not fight one morning? Keona's almost always the first one to fly out of bed so she wakes up Alex, who starts the day by freaking out on her. I told him that if he didn't want her going into his room, when the alarm went off he better get his butt out of bed and start getting ready because I was done with his pissiness. Then comes the dreaded breakfast time, it's all fighting the whole time. He did this, she did that. All freaken time. Today Alex is mad because he took all the "good" cereal but his bowl was overflowing. He did this so the other kids couldn't have any, saying they pigged out yesturday on the cereal, which was very interesting because yesturday they all had toast due to the lack of milk in the house. So I took his bowl and anything over the top went into Zachary's. If looks could kill that boy would have me so dead. Time to make lunches now and that starts a whole new war over who gets what snack. Because they can't take the same thing, that would be copying, and of course no one else can take something better than the other one. Getting ready to get out the door is the same thing. All morning.

Peace comes when that bus pulls away, because you can bet they fight all the way onto the bus also about who gets on first. I look forward to my house being overrun with babies, it's so much more peaceful, even when they are all crying!!!!!!

Just one morning I would like them not to bicker when they get ready. If not they will get ready seperately and will have to start getting up when their dad goes to work and getting ready, then they will each have 30 mintues.

Due credit

To all those parents with multiples here's a ton of credit. I had all three kids under 1 today at the house in the afternoon and it was fun. Alot of work seeing i'm use to one little person. Everything took longer, which means I have less to "plan" during the day. Lunch took a bit to get through, remembering who's spoon was who's and not mixing them up. All the kids had different food to boot. As soon as Timothy is finishes off his baby food that will change though and i'll supply lunch for everyone. Then it was diaper change time, one after the other they all got a clean diaper. The best time was next when I, single handedly, got all 3 kids to nap at the same time. First the little girl fell asleep in my arms, Timothy crashed on the couch. The other little boy didn't really want to go to sleep but sure enough his eyes got heavier and heavier. When they all woke up it was a story and then snack and yet another round of diaper changes. All the big kids got off the bus (my two boys plus an extra boy I babysit) The kids played together really well and not long after the first little boy was picked up. Keona was a huge help today and loved having another girl to hang around with for once. More playing and cuddles and then the little girl was picked up and my after school boy.

Here I sit, after feeding my kids supper and getting Alex out the door to Cadets. I'm in one peice and amazed how well I did today with all the kids. I can do it!!!!!!!!

Why is it so cold?

Dear Mother Nature,

It would be greatly appreciated if you would turn the heat back on in our part of the country. Not even much, just enough so we can do the papers and not be frozen. Do you really understand that I had to get a sleepy baby into his two peice snowsuit and then, once he was fully traumatized I put him in his cold stroller and then wrapped him in a blanket. Then the princess, who didn't want to get dressed to start with, had to pile on all her outerwear. Mind you that would have been tempting to take her out without it if she fought too much longer. She doesn't like wearing all her clothes because she is stubborn. Next came Zachary, to have it warm enough that his feet won't freeze when I get tired of him bugging about socks. Like a little layer of cloth will do too much in this weather. He did find his socks when I told him we were leaving. Finally, there's the kid who thinks he's too cool to bundle up. Boy he would have been too cool this morning if he didn't listen to his mom. He still dawdled to do the papers when the rest of us were trying to go faster. If the wind was just a bit quicker it would have been registered with a windchill this morning. -26C isn't nice at all after spoiling us with temps that hovered around the freezing mark for so long. We all know we live in Canada and it's suppose to be cold but teasing us first, that was just not right. The mornings should never be this cold, it would save alot of battles, especially school mornings.

Therefore, I suggest you get some of the warmth back here. My legs are also frozen from this morning and the kids are going to want to drink all the hot chocolate. Kids and hot chocolate mean hyperness, and when it's this cold that is just a mean mix. GIVE ME BACK SOME WARMTH!!!!!!!!

Freezing in Canada

Didn't last

Peaceful sleep disturbed by the cry of an infant. Every night it's the same thing over and over. The upside, hubby is the one to get out of bed to get him. And at wee hours of the morning he was the one to get puked on too. Yes, my little buddy isn't feeling well. Not sure what has come over him but he thinks puking is fun today. He did a couple times last night and then again this morning. I haven't eaten anything different and i've used all the lotions before that I did last night so it can't be that. The evil little bug must have gotten to him. Poor guy, he eats and eats and eats and then a little while later feels compelled to show me just what he ate, thank goodness breast milk isn't smelly.

Today is Friday though and nothing can ruin a Friday. The big boys go to school, they have skating today even so they will come home in a really good mood also, and hopefully a little tired after walking to and from the rink and skating for over an hour. Timothy will be cuddly today because he isn't feeling well. Then there is the princess in disguise, i'm hoping she will behave. I highly doubt it so she may be seeing alot of her bed today. Then tonight is movie night and we are having popcorn with it. Not sure what we will watch, that's usually a battle in itself because with 3 kids and a husband they all want something different. Timothy could care less and mommy always has final say so it's all good.

First battle to go is to get the boys out the door with as little fighting as possible.

I slept

Yes, I did and it felt great. I still woke up when Timothy did during the night but I fell back asleep as soon as I realized that the old man was taking care of him. Then I even got to sleep in some this morning. Not much because heaven knows my kids aren't quiet, but I didn't have to get out of bed as early and it definately felt good.

Today should be a good day, a bunch of kids coming over, eating lunch and going to play group. It will be even better if my husband can tell the truth for once when he goes for an assessment to get into anger management classes or whatever else he may need. Honesty isn't a strong point for him and it's funny because he is a shitty liar just like his mother. He gets so mad and frustrated when the lie is called on him, it's too funny and annoying at the same time. OH well though, maybe one day he will learn that his lying doesn't get him anywhere with me and his kids will learn his game too and I hate to see those relationships crumble anymore but they just won't be their with him. This is his last chance though with us, if things don't improve things will change. Like the saying is, you don't realize what you have until it's all gone.