The end of an Era

Today is the last day I will ever go to Healthy Moms Healthy Children as a participant of the course. It's rather sad thinking of that. A year ago I had just found out that I was having another boy and now he is 7 1/2 months old already. I remember having so many mixed feelings when I got pg and it took a bit for us to truly get excited about another baby in the house. It had been three years and Keona was so independant in so many areas. We had a break with no one in diapers, we weren't carrying a diaper bag, we didn't have to get up during the night, my boobs were mine damn it. Now we have all these things all over again. Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't trade it for the world. Timothy is a wonderful little man, scared the crap out of mommy many many times before his arrival and even when he came out purple I was scared. Then there was the most beautiful noise a mom could hear, he cried for the first time and it was then I knew he was alright, he had survived when I told my care provider that I needed to be induced because something wasn't right anymore. I went to an OB at the very end and he was going to induce the next morning but he did a stretch and sweep that afternoon. I delivered that evening, and with great delight when I look back and know that Timothy woulnd't have survived until morning, not with the 2 knots in his umbilical cord.

I've been going to HMHB since the I found out I was pregnant, it was my princesses third birthday. I remember buying the test and not wanting to wait so went into the store bathroom and taking it, there it was one pink line and then the other started to appear. Now was the task of telling my parents, and his. We weren't in the best spot to be bringing a new life into this world and we knew that things wouldn't go over well with them. My mom was happy, so was my dad. Then there were his parents, his dad was more worried for us, he is a great guy and worries alot about his kids and their well being. But my mil, well that was a different story. It was the same thing with every pregnancy, she stopped talking to us all together and disowned us yet again, the only difference this time, she had surgery just after and I still went to see her in the hospital and then she started talking again. She went to the u/s, not sure if it was because she was trying to play up how good of a woman she tries to be or if she really wanted to be there because she found out my mother was going. It's amazing how she always manages to crawl back into our lives to make herself look like such a great grandmother. She does that though and stops talking to us whenever we do something she doesn't like. YOu know, having a baby, getting married, setting rules for our house and saying they need to abide by them as well. I figure she can only play her games so long because what comes around goes around. The kids will learn her game and one day not care anymore and won't let her back. That's a whole nother blog entry though.