Scared

To be totally honest todays cat scan results have really scared me. Even though it could turn out to be ok the fact that Brad has 2 discrepancies on his brain is really scary. I don't know the last time I was this scared and worried and nervous all at once. Even being 20 and in labour with my first son, knowing the pain that I would go through didn't scare me this much. I wasn't scared then, a little worried thinking about how a baby was going to get out of me but heck I was 20. Now we wait for yet another MRI, so they can check his brain one layer at a time and see just how big these discrepancies are and what they are affecting.

Oh yeah, and to top of today's doctors visit Keona has strep throat. She was feeling icky at school yesterday and today she was still ick. almost have of her class was out of school or under the weather. Today the doctor checked her and sure enough she is sick too. First time I remember her being on antibiotics. She loves them though so it will be easy getting her to take them.

But with every scary moment and good one will come. Now it's time to ride this roller coaster of emotions back up again. I've been down for too long. Time for Brad to get better so we can go on hikes, walk all day with the kids and be a whole family again doing things we love to do. It's hard being the only parent who can take the kids anywhere, especially when they all have to be in a different place at the same time. I know things will get better and I believe they will, I will not be given more than I can handle and, yes, we will get through this, that doesn't mean I can't have bad days because I know I will, but it does mean I will make the best I can out of them and my kids will realize just how well we can pull together as a family when the going gets tough.