Is this Rock Bottom??????

I'm really hoping this is what rock bottom feels like. I don't know if I can handle worse. I started a profile on the Biggest Loser Wii game and embarrassment set in hard. I have never been this heavy in my life and bet i'm the heaviest girl in the family now. Wouldn't be bad if I was the tallest in the whole family but i'm not, i'm the shortest. I should have known better when clothes weren't fitting quite right but I if I could just squeeze into them maybe things weren't that bad.

My biggest problem is food. I know I overeat and my portions are out of control some days - not like the 1/2 ton people on tv or anything like that - but definately more than someone my size should eat, or should I say more than someone what should be my size should eat. I also eat too much chocolate, donuts and other bad things. For starters chocolate and pop has been cut out of the diet for this month. I did have a pop on April 2nd before I started this, but just that one at the movie theater. Chocolate I cut yesterday and I didn't have ANY. Now those that know me well know that when af visits pepsi and chocolate are my best friends. It's time to find a healthy substitute for then though. I"m also going to be more aware of the amount of food I eat at meals. For starters Breakfast i'm actually going to have something other than just coffee. Yes, it's sad but i'm a coffee for breakfast person - but now it will go with something else. Lunch i'm going to make sure I eat at lunch time. Supper i'm going to take a little less than usual, especially on pasta night, and i'm going to get that meal down to a more healthy portion as time goes on.

Yesterday was a new start for me. I will never weigh that much again in my life. I weigh in once a week and will update on my progress. I need to be healthy for me and for my family. The cupboards are running low and i'm going to the grocery store this weekend. They will keep the junk food there and i'll bring home healthier options instead. I can do this and I will do this.