Sabotage

I thought I was doing something good for myself and my children. Loosing alot of the excess weight so I can run and have fun again with them and be more active myself is a win/win situation. The kids get an active mom back and I get a healthier life. Now don't get me wrong, I still do lots with the kids, I can still go on hikes and stuff with them but when it comes to races, tag, soccer, anything that takes alot of running I just can't do it. I don't have the energy to. I'm going to change that though.

Why does it feel that so many people who should be happy and encouraging me is trying to sabotage me though. I vowed not to have chocolate and my dad new that. Yet he has to tease me with chocolate and how good it is and all the rest. For those that know me, chocolate is a huge downfall for me and something that I consume way too much. I just wanted to go the rest of April without having any. My mom brought me back a "big box size" of junior mints - one of my favourite junk food of all times. To her defense she didn't know I wasn't eating chocolate the rest of the month - this started after she went away. The box of junior mints is sitting in the office staring at me every time I come in here. Last night at her house though she tossed me a mini chocolate bar (one of the little halloween size ones) and before I new it I had it open and eaten. Now that goal is gone - I didn't do it because of one little almonds bar - the chocolate covered coconut was so tasty. I will not eat any more before the end of the month though. The junior mint box will remain untouched.

The biggest person trying to sabotage me though is my husband. I don't think he is capable of supporting me in this. All he ever wants to eat is processed crap and stuff smothered in sauces and such. Now don't get me wrong, I do love my processed crap too but in moderation. He wanted pogos and fries today for lunch and a huge rack of ribs for supper - smothered in bbq sauce. I turned down the lunch and he then cooked Kraft Dinner and gave me a whole cereal bowl full smothered in ketchup. I didn't eat much of it as it tasted way to salty and heck that was 3-4 portions in the bowl. Definately too much for anyone. Why can't he just give normal servings and then veggies. We have lots of carrots and celery sticks that would have been much better than a pile of pasta with fake cheese. Today isn't the only time, this is all the time. I have requested that he don't use so much salad dressing for me OR the kids. Ceasar salad is good and all but when you have so much cheese and salad dressing all you see is white when you look at the salad it's gross. Time to learn portion control. To help for me i've used a smaller plate - the same size kids use. He still uses a big plate and has it FULL of food. I'm not saying he shouldn't eat what he wants and has to cut way back like I have - but at least be supportive and eat better. If he cooks it would be great if he could make sure that the meal stays in a decent calorie range. I can't eat 2000 calories for supper when I only have 1800 for the WHOLE day. He doesn't understand this. I showed him the example between ceasar salad and chips. I made myself a salad and put it on the plate on one side, on the other side I put the number of chips that equaled the calories. There was less than 1/2 the chips, very little food. He thought it was great and had a salad instead and then ate 1/2 a big bag of chips as well. It's so frustrating that he doesn't care. I guess this is a huge hurdle in the way of reaching my goals and I'll have to find a way to deal with it.